OTP Rules of Style
7/20/08
Rule #1: If your skills are not up to par, stick to basic black and white boots.
Rule #2: Flashy shoes are for flashy players. How far away you deviate from black boots should be comparable to your skill level. (If you're wearing bright green or orange boots... better be prepared to back them up)
Rule #3: If you're short, don't wear 3/4 pants. They make you look even shorter. (How cool you think they are is irrelevant)
Rule #4: When attending a professional soccer game, jerseys from other professional sports are not acceptable. (I can't believe you had to be told this)
Rule #5: Soccer Moms of America: When attending a soccer game, don't yell out "kick it!"...We know. (But thanks for the advice)
Rule #6: Please don't yell "offsides!" when you don't understand the rule.
Rule #7: Being a soccer player is no excuse to have hair like a douchebag. (see: half the Argentinean national team and Ronaldo in 2002)
Rule #8: If you're a defender or severely overweight, wearing Mercurial Vapors or a similarly lightweight shoe is not a good look for you.
Rule #9: Regardless of what happens, try your best not to cry. (Pass this along to C. Ronaldo)
Rule #10: If you have to cry, make it a few quiet tears. Not the "crying-so-much-i'm-out-of-breath-and-can't-even-talk" tears. (C. Ronaldo again)
Rule #11: If you play soccer at a high level, you better know who won the last World Cup. (Hint: pizza)
.... More to come next Sunday.
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