Showing posts with label fashion. Show all posts
OTP Rules of Style
7/27/08
Rule #12: Don't spend more time shopping for soccer gear than you do practicing with a ball. (Best dressed bench player is not something to strive for.)
Rule #13: If you repeatedly sky shots over the crossbar, why do you look so angry and disappointed? It happened the last 32 times you shot.
Rule #14: Know when to celebrate your goals.
Scored a great goal? Celebrate within reason.
Scored a tying goal? Celebrate within reason.
Scored a tap in goal? No more than a fist pump is allowed.
Scored a lucky goal? Don't act like you planned it. We all know the truth..
Whiffed at the ball, but it still went in with your plant foot? Don't celebrate.
Scored a goal but are still losing by 3 or more? Don't celebrate.
Scored by chipping the keeper? Feel free to make fun of him.
Rule #15: If when asked who is the best soccer player you respond "David Beckham", keep reading. You have much to learn.
Rule #16: If you ref... don't try to chit-chat with the players. It's annoying.
Rule #17: If you coach.. don't make your players run 20 laps around the field. We all know they do nothing in terms of conditioning.
Rule #18: If you're ever in a "soccer is for wusses" dicussion... don't argue. Simply convince them to come try it once at practice. They won't last 10 minutes.
Rule #20: If you chose to wear #10 on your jersey, you better not suck.
Rule #21: Don't worry about style or looking good while you play.. it's just a game right?
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OTP Rules of Style
7/20/08
Rule #1: If your skills are not up to par, stick to basic black and white boots.
Rule #2: Flashy shoes are for flashy players. How far away you deviate from black boots should be comparable to your skill level. (If you're wearing bright green or orange boots... better be prepared to back them up)
Rule #3: If you're short, don't wear 3/4 pants. They make you look even shorter. (How cool you think they are is irrelevant)
Rule #4: When attending a professional soccer game, jerseys from other professional sports are not acceptable. (I can't believe you had to be told this)
Rule #5: Soccer Moms of America: When attending a soccer game, don't yell out "kick it!"...We know. (But thanks for the advice)
Rule #6: Please don't yell "offsides!" when you don't understand the rule.
Rule #7: Being a soccer player is no excuse to have hair like a douchebag. (see: half the Argentinean national team and Ronaldo in 2002)
Rule #8: If you're a defender or severely overweight, wearing Mercurial Vapors or a similarly lightweight shoe is not a good look for you.
Rule #9: Regardless of what happens, try your best not to cry. (Pass this along to C. Ronaldo)
Rule #10: If you have to cry, make it a few quiet tears. Not the "crying-so-much-i'm-out-of-breath-and-can't-even-talk" tears. (C. Ronaldo again)
Rule #11: If you play soccer at a high level, you better know who won the last World Cup. (Hint: pizza)
.... More to come next Sunday.
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